 |
|
By now you should be aware that I am a humble and modest man. If you disagree you can suck my salty Pakistani balls because it’s true. I’m not one to prattle on incessantly about things that annoy me. Considering my meek attitude something must be really annoying to provoke me to write about it on a website that by now has six readers (five of them being Dan Hoyle).
It seems that every year I am put through a diversity training of some sort. The buzz word changes every now and then, be it diversity, ethics, tolerance, diverserance, tolersity; but they all end up meaning the same thing, big fucking waste of time. What is it about the word diversity that causes people with no personalities to get hard-ons, and when I say no personality I’m referring to people that use phrases like “heavens to Betsy” or “that tickles my funny bone”. Every year since I can remember I am at some point reminded how important diversity is and why we should respect each other and a bunch of other bullshit I can’t remember. I get it… I got it when I was in Kindergarten eating crayons, I get it now, just drop it. I don’t need to be forced to learn about other cultures anymore, I got wikipedia for that shit. If by the age of 20 you hate people based on something other than whether or not they listen to Lil Wayne, you are a tool and no lecture or assignment or history month will make you realize what a tool you are.
I can put up with lectures that focus on diversity because at least I can sleep and dream about all the things I could have bought had I not been pissing away my money on tuition to learn this garbage, and I’ll even put up with ESPN discussing things that are not within their scope, their scope being sports, not the moral outrage people are supposed to feel when someone says “nappy headed hoes”. I know this is old but seriously, the man said “nappy headed hoes” and was ostracized. Who amongst you hasn’t referred to a women’s basketball team as “a bunch of nappy headed hoes”? I know I have, doesn’t make me a bad person, and it definitely doesn’t make me intolerant. What I can’t stand are assignments that require tangible proof of you being less ignorant.
Last year I had to write this essay on the importance of diversity. Our professor wanted us to go to a cultural event with someone of a different race (he stressed different race because as ambiguous as the term diversity is, it apparently means people with different skin tones). After we go to this event, we were supposed to write about what our initial impressions of our partner were (i.e. what stereotypes you formed in your mind), what our impressions of our partner were after the event (i.e. what stereotypes turned out to be true), what we gained from going to the event, and why do you think diversity is important. After being explained what the assignment was I quickly turned to the cracker sitting next to me and said “That sounds like a retarded assignment, do you want to make something up so we don’t have to do any of that?” and since my professor’s bullshit transcends our racial differences he said “Yeah, this guy is a prick.” I’ll admit it was fun making up a story about my experience at a hillbilly barn dance, but what was my professor expecting? Was I supposed to have some sort of epiphany and repent a lifetime of bigotry and hold hands with my partner from a different race, except now I don’t see race, I just see another human being and we sing and dance and cry in each other's arms and have babies with each other, and we make sure our babies understand the importance of accepting everyone no matter what, and our interracial babies will be persecuted because they don’t fit in anywhere, but that’s okay because that builds character, and we’ll all be a giant cluster-fuck of happiness and sunshine? I guess I don’t understand the logic in constantly reminding everyone that they are different because of their race and that we should accept everyone even though they are different, while at the same time preaching equality. It seems counter intuitive.
Now on the flip side, I’m also sick of people who are deliberately racist just to get the “edgy bad boy” label *cough *cough Carlos Mencia. Racism can be funny, but not if it’s forced, it needs to flow out of you like the bullet of a black person’s gun, because all black people carry guns (you see, that sentence right there, perfect example of someone forcing racism, it doesn’t work, just like furniture from Ikea, fucking Swedish cock suckers). I was sure there was a point to me writing this, but now I’m almost positive there isn’t. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s fine to make fun of other cultures and stereotypes as long as your goal is to not offend or be edgy, but if they get offended fuck ‘em, they’re of a different race and their feelings aren’t your concern.