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1) Have someone with Parkinson’s disease shave my balls.
2) Go fishing with Scott Peterson.
3) Have sex with a woman who has a yeast infection. Not a regular yeast infection either, I’m talking about a vagina so yeasty you could ferment beer in it.
4) Have sex with a man who has a yeast infection. Not a regular yeast infection either, I’m talking about a penis yeastier than a French bakery.
5) Watch 2 Girls 1 Cup: The Movie.
6) Star in 2 Girls 1 Cup: The Movie.
7) Go to a black cultural center with Michael Richards, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and Don Imus.
8) Go hunting with Dick Cheney.
9) Amy Winehouse.
10) Walk my dog with Michael Vick… after he’s out of prison… and after I get a dog…
11) Shit a pineapple.
12) Go to a Holocaust museum with Mel Gibson and his dad.
13) Write for this piece of shit website.