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Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past week you should know that the governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, has been paying prostitutes to… how do I put this eloquently… have sex with him.
It’s not like I’m condoning what he did, but why the shock? When did politicians become the gold standard of morality? By now you should know that politicians lie, cheat, steal, and go to war under false pretenses. The same can be said about actors and athletes, yet when something like this hits the news everyone’s reaction seems to be “I can’t believe he/she would do such a thing!” It’s really not that hard to believe, I mean they are human, and humans are sick and twisted and fucked up six ways from Sunday. The whole situation is trite, even the expression on his face is unoriginal:
The only thing about the scandal that disturbed me was that he made his wife stand next to him during his press conference. There is no situation that deserves an “awkward turtle” more than telling the world that you were banging hookers while your wife stands right next to you:
And on to the hooker:
It’s a breath of fresh air to see a politician having an affair with someone who isn’t physically appalling (remember Chandra Levy and Monica Lewinsky), but he was paying 4,000 dollars an hour!? She’s hot, I’ll give him that, but not four grand an hour hot. She’s seven shots and a cab fare home hot. Plus considering he was using New York tax money to pay for this broad, I believe she’s obligated to have sex with everyone in New York. It just seems fair.
Also, why is prostitution illegal in the first place? So porn is legal, but when you take out the camera all of a sudden it’s illegal? To quote George Carlin, “Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal?” Can’t you just hire a prostitute, but instead of paying her for sex, you pay her for her “acting services” and film it? Unless I’m missing something, that seems legal to me. Why don’t prostitutes just do that? To be fair, most women are prostitutes anyways, they just don’t know it. If you don’t believe me I’ve provided a flow chart to test this theory:
